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Milu/Mojo Night: Diary From The Least Popular Band on The Internet

by Dustan Hlady on Sunday, September 11, 2016

September 10th 2016

It’s been a while since I’ve played to the other bands and their girlfriends.

The day started ominously enough. I had a dream that I was hanging out with this really cool guy that was trying to solve a small town murder. The biggest problem was, while the cool detective-like figure was finding clues and unraveling an intricate mystery, I just really needed to pee the whole time. Even at the end of the dream when I finally got to urinate in the woods, a flame-throwing lunatic interrupted me and I spilled all over myself.

I spent the day with my boys, taking them out for cookies and explaining to them what smoking was.

COHEN: What’s smoking?

ME: Like smoking cigarettes.

REESE: What’s cigarettes?

ME: Well, it’s this thing people light on fire and breathe in the smoke and it makes them sick but they do it anyways because they like it.

COHEN: I will never do that.

ME: Good. You know Grandpa Jake and how he coughs a lot and sometimes breathes really hard?

REESE: Oh, yeah.

ME: Well he’s like that because he’s smoked so many cigarettes.

COHEN: I hope he gets better.

ME: Me too.


When we got to the club we weren’t sure if we were at the right place because the club we were supposed to be at was the Milu Club and in large disco-feel letters, this building was clearly labelled “Mojo Club”. Apparently that’s what the club used to be called but they haven’t switched the sign out yet. The owner later told me that this night was kind of a litmus test to see if live music can work at the venue. The place kind of had the vibe of a couple who wants to break up but they’re going to “try for 6 more months”.


The room was pretty cool and the sound was great. We even got 3 drink tickets each, which was an all time high for me. The staff was really nice and I felt really bad that we are not popular enough to fill their room. We had 12 people show up eventually but they had 4+ people on staff. They definitely lost money that night.

I ran around outside trying to get people to come to the show. The lady from the convenience store next door and her (I’m pretty sure underage daughter) came. They really liked our New York song.


During our set I kept thinking about my Grandma who passed away. She was a fairly negative person who was loose with her language. I dyed my hair when I was a teenager and she said to me, “Do you know only retards dye their hair?” To which I responded with my best impression of Leonardo DiCaprio in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Man, I loved her. I’ve always loved music and playing in bands and I wanted to know if she was ever passionate about the arts or, really, ANYTHING. I asked her what she was most passionate about and if there was anything like my love for music in her life. I’ll never forget her, in “her chair” shaking because she was so angry at my question. It took maybe half a minute before she was able to articulate just what had made her so angry. She said, “I’m just sitting here waiting to die and if you ask any other grandmother they’ll tell you the exact same thing.”

But last night, there was something about being 19 years in to playing songs I know are good to only the other bands and a couple friends in a club that literally requires you take a flashlight to the bathroom that made me think…maybe Grandma was onto something.

Dustan Hlady
dustan j. hlady is the founder of Middle of Nowhere music and sings and writes songs for his band, Friend Friend.