The diagonal knot scared me like parachute pants circa 1989; I know they are cool, but I just don’t know if I’m the guy to pull them off. The Diagonal is a knot that ends with a diagonal flash over the face of the knot, like you tied something out of order. With the right tie the look is too legit–pick the wrong pattern and effect becomes something less than sucka free.
The difficulty level is a solid 3.5, I eventually left my tie length a little long after coming up big-knotted and short-tie’d on my first three attempts. Folks will be screaming, “please don’t hurt ’em ” when they see you roger-rabbiting down the street in this knot. I followed the App Store’s How to Tie-a-Tie for this version of the Diagonal. The Encyclopedia of Tie Knots would have you reverse the tie, then tie a Kelvin backwards, and flip it back. No I didn’t mess up and double-triple negative you, and its actually kind of fun–in a tie-nerd kind of way. What you have do is you have to think of the big end as the little, and the little as the big. Where the big end starts is pretty much where the length will be at the end, so fight the habit of leaving it long. Then, tie the Kelvin using the little end as the big. When that is complete, take off the tie and flip it around. Convoluted? That’s why I settled on the App instructions on Sunday morning and only played with the Encyclopedia instructions later.
The App’s Diagonal seems to be a tighter knot, but the last move brings the big end from the side and so it can travel back to the side on you. If your not careful you’ll look down and see that your little end an big end are both visible from the knot down. The advantage to the Encyclopedia’s instructions is that the ends are held in place better so you don’t have that problem.
Pairing the right tie to this knot is half of this epic rap battle. My choice was a black paisley tie from Express, paired with my white Brooks Brothers‘ shirt and black Calvin Klein suit. Black ties, clean white shirts, and black suits are not just for funerals anymore. If I had a white pocket square to peak out then the outfit would have been GQ worthy, which I do and so it is. No one hated on the Diagonal. You can’t touch this knot and it will certainly turn this mutha out. I choose to get it started at church on Sunday, and it gained the approval of the visiting Glen Beck–either that or he didn’t notice me or the knot–one or the other. All I know is you got to pray just to make it today.
Wow. I feel like a complete hack for this @mchammer themed post. I got to step up my game.