I was looking forward to some privacy again, as time led up to my little bro leaving our apartment in San Jose to go back to his place at Utah State University.
But tonight, when i entered the room and he was all packed up and car-loaded, i saw his side of the room, all bare and empty. his half of the closet deserted.
My heart dropped, and i was lonely before he was even gone, before we took our last ride, to change cars in Fairfield. I knew that we’d grown together as a pair inseparable these last months, and that i would miss him and have to fight off tears as he went.
Bubba and me, now apart, sad days.
I liked having him as partner to journey with through a summer of sales and self-understanding.
I liked it being my little brother.
We’ve not had the chance to become great friends before, and this summer did it, I’m thankful for that, no matter how lonely i feel right now.
I drove back from Fairfield tonight alone, for the first time since May, and though it doesn’t sound long, it feels deep. funny how that goes.
I’m kinda shocked and put off by it, i had planned on this transition to go smoothly, and now I feel all sad and strange.
maybe i do have a heart after all…
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